


stupid boys with their stupid hair

by Slytherout



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drunk Sex, F/M, Friends With Benefits, R Ship Week, Unrequited Love, except not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 05:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytherout/pseuds/Slytherout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire and Eponine should just date each other, except they also really shouldn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	stupid boys with their stupid hair

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the wonderful [Leah](domeponine.tumblr.com)'s birthday! Her prompt was, "Eponine/R unhealthy fwb".

"This is so much easier," Eponine mumbles, her words slurred by the combination of weariness and alcohol and very satisfying sex.

Grantaire curls around her and breathes in the scent of her hair—it’s hardly fragrant, all sweat and cigarettes and cheap booze, and even though he manages to keep a stable place to live, he knows he’s not much better—and he mutters, “Tell me about it.”

Eponine rolls over to face him. “But really,” she says, “we work _great_ together. We should just be a thing. It’d be _fun_. I’ll bring the free stolen liquor, and you can bring—”

"My winning personality and amazing tongue?" Grantaire teases. "You just want me because poor, virginal Pontmercy wouldn’t be able to give you multiple consecutive orgasms."

She gives him a halfhearted shove. “That was _one time_ , you smug bastard. And if we’re gonna talk about _virginal_ , oh boy, where do I start?”

"Okay, you win that one," Grantaire concedes with a grin, and their shared chuckles fade into a long silence. Then, he continues, "But really though, I’ve thought about it. Like, a lot. ‘Cause you’re right, it’d be so much easier than…” He gestures vaguely, and Eponine nods in understanding. “I mean, I should just date you already.”

"Absolutely," Eponine drawls. "In fact, we should just fucking elope for the benefits."

"And have you become Madame Grantaire?" he snorts.

"Hell of a lot better than being Mademoiselle Thenardier or Jondrette, so fuck yes,” she says with a shrug, and Grantaire puts an arm around her shoulders, lets her shift closer without saying a word.

Another long moment passes, and Grantaire sighs, “We’d make a terrible couple.”

Eponine nods in resignation. “We’d either starve or die of alcohol poisoning within a week.”

Grantaire buries his face in her shoulder again and mutters, “Why must we be in love with stupid boys with their stupid hair?”

And as glum as Grantaire sounds, Eponine giggles. “They have _such_ stupid hair.”

Grantaire has to snicker as well. “The _stupidest_.”

"It just sticks up like that on its own, what a fucking dork!"

"How much do you wanna bet he has, like, four different kinds of organic, free-trade, non-animal tested product to make it look like its spun of light?"

"You think he’s ever even seen a comb in his life?"

"Fuck, what if it’s a _wig?_ ”

The two of them dissolve into drunken cackling. Then, Grantaire decides to tickle the sensitive spot behind Eponine’s knee for kicks, leading to a high-pitched shriek and her retaliating by pinning him to the mattress and mercilessly attacking his sides as he wheezes. When that turns into straddling his chest as they sloppily make out, neither of them are particularly surprised.

Eponine flashes him a smirk. “Up for round two?”

"Fuck yes," Grantaire breathes, his palms sliding up the insides of her thighs. "Lemme go down on you, I bet I can make you come three times at once again."

"I should never have told you about that, you asshole," she grumbles as she rolls onto her back.

He grins up at her from between her legs. “As I recall, you were listing my various skills to make me feel better, and you gave me something I can truly be proud of. Honestly, Ponine, you’re a great friend.”

"Just get your mouth on me and _shut up_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Say hello on [Tumblr](mariuscryingaloneatemptytables.tumblr.com)!


End file.
